MY DOG "SEX"

When I adopted a dog, I decided to give it an unusual name. After some hard thinking, I decided to call him "SEX". Well, SEX is a very embarrassing name.

One day I took SEX for a walk an he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for SEX. A policeman came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4am in the morning. I said I was looking for SEX. My case came up in the following week.

One day, I went to get a license for SEX. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for SEX. He said, "I would like to have one too." then I said, "You don't understand, I had SEX since I was ten years old." He replied, "You must have been a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have SEX at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, "But SEX has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around SEX." He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in this church. I told him everybody coming to the wedding would enjoy having SEX there. The next day, we were married by the justice of peace. My family was barred from the church.

My wife and I took the dog with us along on the honeymoon. When I checked into the motel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and myself and also a special room for SEX. The clerk said that every room in the motel is for SEX. Then I said, "You don't understand, SEX keeps me awake at night," and the clerk said, "Me too."

One day I told a friend I had SEX on TV. He said,"Show off." I told him it was a contest, and he told me I should have sold tickets.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said,"Your Honour, I had SEX before I was married." And the judge said,"Me too."

Well now, I have been thrown in jail, been married, divorced, and had more damned trouble with the dog than I ever bargained for. Why, just the other day, when I went for the first session with the psychiatrist and she asked me what the problem was, and I replied,"Hell, SEX has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I know that SEX isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a dog."