[Infocomm Live!] Start to Finish: Winning Ways of an Entrepreneur

Hey, I got an e-mail. Anyone had an idea what is this and is there anyone I know going for this???
Dear Nath,
We would like to extend an invitation for you to join us at the upcoming Infocomm Live! event featuring Matthias Kunze, serial entrepreneur and Managing Director of Yahoo! Mobile APAC.
Date: 20 March 2009
Time: 6.30pm - 9.30pm
Venue: Chamber, The Arts House, 1 Old Parliament Lane, Singapore 179429

Embracing your passion and finishing to the best of your ability in what you have started is what Matthias Kunze, entrepreneur, former national swimmer for the German team and Ironman triathlete lives by.

Currently the Managing Director for Yahoo! Mobile in Asia, Matthias will share with you inspirations that have led to his success and importantly, the winning ways of an entrepreneur.

Matthias has worked in the mobile advertising, publishing and television industries, and has successfully co-founded several companies in these areas, one of which was acquired by Yahoo! in 2007.

At Yahoo!, Matthias is responsible for extending Yahoo!’s mobile products, broadband services and digital home experiences in the region. Matthias also oversees the deployment and distribution of Yahoo!’s revolutionary mobile products such as Yahoo! oneSearch, Yahoo! Mobile services, as well as leading the mobile monetisation strategy across the Asia Pacific region.

This event is organized by the Infocomm Development Authority of Singapore (IDA), in partnership with E27 and The Digital Movement.

yon

Testicle Therapy

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men.

He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?

He replied: It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken!

Three Kick Rule

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Cowra. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet.. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear. When you're intelligent, you know which half?

Actual excuse notes teachers have received, spelling mistakes included.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Letter from the Chief Financial Officer

To: All Staff,

As you know, the realities of the downturn have hit home and I am forced to introduce the following cost-cutting measures to help shore up our beloved company. I know you will understand that the pain is temporary and the gains will be there for all of us to reap when the company comes through these difficult times stronger... and ready to ride the next big wave. So with immediate effect, all staff will be required to adhere to the following:

a. The cups on the two vending machines are to be recycled. Annabelle has already sterilised them.

b. Sabbatical leave: Executives booked for New York will now go to Kukup in Johor Bahru instead. Senior executives can go further - up to Yong Peng.

c. Our chalet lease in Pulau Ubin has ended. However, as the management takes a keen interest in staff welfare, we have arranged with Francis (from Admin Dept) to rent out one of his rooms at Blk 923, Pasir Ris Drive. His flat was chosen for its proximity to the sea and you can still see Ubin from the window.

d. Entertainment claims: Staff will be required to go for a 30-min demonstration by Raj from Finance Dept, who will show you how to withdraw your credit card slowly from your wallet (58 secs), so that others at a business lunch will inadvertently beat you to it when the bill comes.

e. The Valentine's Day white chocolates (Deluxeur) which I gave out in January : Those of you who have yet to open the box, please return them expiry date: Dec 2009).

f. Monthly Best Employee Award : The $1000 cash award will now be replaced by a box of Deluxeur white chocolates.

g. Annual Best Employee Award : The 14-day Disneyland/Hawaii tour and solid gold Rolex Oyster watch will be replaced by TWO boxes of Deluxeur white chocolates.

h. Medical: The Oxfordshire-Hopkins Medical Group will no more be on our panel. Annabelle will give you the address of Hong Tong Hong Medical Hall in Sungei Road. Bring your company pass for a 10% discount.

i. Country Club Memberships : Senior executives must return their membership cards to Annabelle, who will then register your name with Bishan Community Centre.

j. Transport Allowance : No reduction of rate! However, it will be paid on alternate months.

k. Gifts for clients : New choices. The Bohemian Crystal list will be replaced by the one from 7-eleven.

l. Annual Dinner & Dance : No change (March 20, yay!), but the venue is switched from The Ritz-Carlton to the void deck of Annabelle's flat in Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10.

m. Bonus : This time, staff welfare comes first! Instead of the usual amount, we raised it up to $2 million. Each employee will be given a Singapore Sweep ticket. The draw is on March 5.


From: Chief Financial Officer

MY DOG "SEX"

When I adopted a dog, I decided to give it an unusual name. After some hard thinking, I decided to call him "SEX". Well, SEX is a very embarrassing name.

One day I took SEX for a walk an he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for SEX. A policeman came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4am in the morning. I said I was looking for SEX. My case came up in the following week.

One day, I went to get a license for SEX. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for SEX. He said, "I would like to have one too." then I said, "You don't understand, I had SEX since I was ten years old." He replied, "You must have been a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have SEX at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, "But SEX has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around SEX." He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in this church. I told him everybody coming to the wedding would enjoy having SEX there. The next day, we were married by the justice of peace. My family was barred from the church.

My wife and I took the dog with us along on the honeymoon. When I checked into the motel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and myself and also a special room for SEX. The clerk said that every room in the motel is for SEX. Then I said, "You don't understand, SEX keeps me awake at night," and the clerk said, "Me too."

One day I told a friend I had SEX on TV. He said,"Show off." I told him it was a contest, and he told me I should have sold tickets.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said,"Your Honour, I had SEX before I was married." And the judge said,"Me too."

Well now, I have been thrown in jail, been married, divorced, and had more damned trouble with the dog than I ever bargained for. Why, just the other day, when I went for the first session with the psychiatrist and she asked me what the problem was, and I replied,"Hell, SEX has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I know that SEX isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a dog."

AVOID THESE MEDICATIONS

Not sure if we have these flu & sinus medicine in Singapore. Some are prescribed for children... I got from friend. 

 

Take note! 

Good Day Family/Friends, Subject: Phenylpropanolamine (PPA) I would like to thank those of you who expressed condolences on the recent passing of my mother.   She suffered a hemorrhagic stroke while she was driving home from my house on 7/30 and passed away on 8/3.   My mother's stroke and passing was an enormous shock to my family because she did not have any symptoms or risk factors for a stroke.   Just the week before she had gone to her doctor for a check up and received a clean bill of health. She did, however, develop a cold while she was visiting me and had taken Alka Seltzer Cold Plus for 3 days. Since her passing, we have learned that Alka Seltzer is one of the many cold medicines that contains Phenylpropanolamine (PPA) which can cause hemorrhagic stokes or cerebral bleeding even with the first use.   I am forwarding a list of other medications that currently use PPA.   These medicines are supposedly being recalled but my mother just purchased this medication less than two weeks ago.   Pharmaceutical companies have known about this danger for years, we unfortunately, did not. I urge you to review the list of medicines with PPA and avoid these medications.   All drugs containing PHENYL PROPANOLAMINE are dangerous.   You may want to try calling the 800 number listed on most drug boxes and inquire about a REFUND. Please read this CAREFULLY.   Also, please pass this on to everyone you know. STOP TAKING anything containing this ingredient.   It has been linked to increased hemorrhagic stroke (bleeding in brain) among women ages 18-49 in the three days after starting use of medication.   Problems were not found in men, but the FDA recommended that everyone (even children) seek alternative medicine. The following medications contain Phenylpropanolamine: Acutrim Diet Gum Appetite Suppressant Acutrim Plus Dietary Supplements Acutri m Maximum Strength Appetite Control Alka-Seltzer Plus Children's Cold Medicine Effervescent Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold medicine (cherry or or ange) Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold Medicine Original Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold & Cough Medicine Effervescent Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold & Flu Medicine Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold & Sinus Effervescent Alka Seltzer Plus Night-Time Cold Medicine BC Allergy Sinus Cold Powder BC Sinus Cold Powder Comtrex Flu Therapy & Fever Relief Day & Night Contac 12-Hour Cold Capsules Contac 12 Hour Caplets Coricidin D Cold, Flu & Sinus Dexatrim Caffeine Free Dexatrim Extended Duration Dexatrim Gelcaps Dexatrim Vitamin C/Caffeine Free Dimetapp Cold &Allergy Chewable Tablets Dime tapp Cold &Cough Liqui-Gels Dimetapp DM Cold &Cough Elixir Dimetapp Elixir Dimetapp 4 Hour Liquid Gels Dimetapp 4 Hour Tablets Dimetapp 12 Hour Extentab s Tablets Naldecon DX Pediatric Drops Permathene Mega-16 Robitussin CF Tavist-D 12 Hour Relief of Sinus &Nasal Congestion Triaminic DM Cough Relief Triaminic Expectorant Chest & Head Triaminic Syrup (! !) Cold & Allergy Triaminic Triaminicol Cold & Cough I just found out and called the 800# on the container for Triaminic and they informed me that they are voluntarily recalling the following medicines because of a certain ingredient that is causing strokes and seizures in children: Orange 3D Cold & Allergy Cherry (Pink)3D Cold &Cough Berry 3D Cough Relief Yellow 3D Expectorant They are asking you to call them at  800-548-3708  with the lot number on the box so they can send you postage for you to send it back to them, and they will also issue you a refund. If you know of anyone else with small children, To confirm these findings please take time to check the following: http://www.fda.gov/cder/drug/infopage/ppa/

Planning to stay back for OT?? Think again...

.
.
.
Moral of the story : In these cost cutting days Leave office early

Why Women should not take husbands shopping! GREAT

BANNED FROM WAL-MART... 

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get 1in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least.

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Singapore's Merlion tourism icon struck by lightning

Last night my ex was laughing over this news when we're chatting on msn. This morning got this e-mail.

Singapore's Merlion stone sculpture, popular with tourists, has been temporarily closed for repairs after being struck by lightning, the Singapore Tourism Board said Sunday.

The lightning bolt struck the 36-year old sculpture -- a lion's head with a mermaid's tail -- at the mouth of the Singapore River on the southern waterfront during a Saturday afternoon thunderstorm.

A small section of the mane on the left side of the lion head and its right ear were chipped off as a result, while the wave form at its sculpture's base also suffered a crack.

The lightning strike scattered debris and sent about 20 to 30 people, including tourists, who were in the area, running for cover, the Straits Times newspaper reported. A local television news channel said orange sparks flew and a loud explosion was heard at the time.

But the agency's statement said no one was hurt in the incident.

It said it "has engaged contractors to investigate the cause of the incident and carry out immediate assessment of the structure and repairs."

The Merlion, although an icon created by the tourism agency, has some elements of myths related to Singapore's ancient history.

The name Singapore comes from "Singapura," a mixture of Malay and Sanskrit, which means "Lion City." It was given that name apparently because a Hindu prince in ancient times had spotted a lion-like creature when he landed on the island.

Singapore faced a spate of fierce thunderstorms over the weekend.

The lightning strike on the Merlion is being seen as an ill omen by some in the Internet community. One blog wayangparty said, "Just when you think things cannot get worse, our tourist icon -- the Merlion -- was struck by lightning!"

"In ancient China, natural disasters are usually a harbinger of a change in the "mandate of heaven," it noted.

Originally from breitbart