Different POV on a sweet guy and a bitch gal LOL
Monday, June 22, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE
Sometimes the things you wish for you get. Thus, be careful when you wish!!!!!!
This is priceless!
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant youeach a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two ticketsfor the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is allvery romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!.....the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful and idiots should remember that fairies are female.....
This is priceless!
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant youeach a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two ticketsfor the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is allvery romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!.....the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful and idiots should remember that fairies are female.....
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Body Language
A woman gets on a city bus. She looks at the driver and holds up one hand; the driver holds up two hands.
Next, the woman points up; the driver points down.
Then, the woman grabs her breast; the driver grabs his crotch.
Finally, the woman grabs her butt and gets off the bus.
A curious passenger asked the bus driver what the odd motions were all about.
The driver explained, "The woman is a deaf-mute. She asked me if a bus
ride is five cents, and I told her it was ten cents.
Next, she asked if the bus was going uptown, and I told her it was
going downtown. Then, she asked if the bus was going pass the
milk-farm,and I told her it was going pass the ball-park."
The passenger interjected, "Okay, but why did she grab her butt as she
left the bus?"
The driver continued, she replied "Oh shit, I'm on the wrong bus!"
Next, the woman points up; the driver points down.
Then, the woman grabs her breast; the driver grabs his crotch.
Finally, the woman grabs her butt and gets off the bus.
A curious passenger asked the bus driver what the odd motions were all about.
The driver explained, "The woman is a deaf-mute. She asked me if a bus
ride is five cents, and I told her it was ten cents.
Next, she asked if the bus was going uptown, and I told her it was
going downtown. Then, she asked if the bus was going pass the
milk-farm,and I told her it was going pass the ball-park."
The passenger interjected, "Okay, but why did she grab her butt as she
left the bus?"
The driver continued, she replied "Oh shit, I'm on the wrong bus!"
Friday, June 12, 2009
Court in India
Judge: Raj, why were you beaten up in public? What you did?
Raj: Sir I am innocent.
Judge: How can you say that?
Raj: Your honour, I was in crowded bus, my photo fell from wallet, so I said to lady in front of me, 'Aunty, please lift your Sari, I want to take photo...!
Raj: Sir I am innocent.
Judge: How can you say that?
Raj: Your honour, I was in crowded bus, my photo fell from wallet, so I said to lady in front of me, 'Aunty, please lift your Sari, I want to take photo...!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
So, what is Generation Y?
Hmm, I've always wondered this myself. Now I know.
- The Silent generation, people born before 1946.
- The Silent generation, people born before 1946.
- The Baby Boomers, people born between 1946 and 1959.
- Generation X, people born between 1960 and 1979.
- Generation Y, people born between 1980 and 1995
Why do we call the last one generation Y? I did not know, but a cartoonist explains it eloquently below .... Learned something new today!
Now, make someone else laugh. And have a great day!
Why do we call the last one generation Y? I did not know, but a cartoonist explains it eloquently below .... Learned something new today!
Now, make someone else laugh. And have a great day!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
OMG I love this doctor
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.
Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit.. Brandy is distilled
wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get
even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is:
No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting
more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What
a Ride'
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies..
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and
eat lots of sausages and fats and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit.. Brandy is distilled
wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get
even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is:
No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting
more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What
a Ride'
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies..
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and
eat lots of sausages and fats and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
News from Ampang Gleneagles Hospital Important news to pass it on
Got this e-mail from Joey Kang. Don’t know true or not… but better take note…
Please spend 1 minute and read on... News from Gleneagles Hospital (Ampang) URGENT !!!!! from Gleneagles Hospital Limited
Seven women have died after inhaling a free perfume sample that was mailed to them. The product was poisonous. If you receive free samples in the mail such as lotions, perfumes, diapers etc. throw them away. The government is afraid that this might be another terrorist act. They will not announce it on the news because they do not want to create panic or give the terrorists new ideas. Send this to all your friends and family members.
Warmest Regards,
Mei ling
Gleneagles Hospital Limited
Human Resource Department
Tel: 03-4270 3474
Fax: 03-4270 3472
Please spend 1 minute and read on... News from Gleneagles Hospital (Ampang) URGENT !!!!! from Gleneagles Hospital Limited
Seven women have died after inhaling a free perfume sample that was mailed to them. The product was poisonous. If you receive free samples in the mail such as lotions, perfumes, diapers etc. throw them away. The government is afraid that this might be another terrorist act. They will not announce it on the news because they do not want to create panic or give the terrorists new ideas. Send this to all your friends and family members.
Warmest Regards,
Mei ling
Gleneagles Hospital Limited
Human Resource Department
Tel: 03-4270 3474
Fax: 03-4270 3472
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Why there are so many motorcycle accidents in Jamaica?
為什麼在牙買加,摩托車意外事故傷亡特別多?
Do you know why there are so many motorcycle accidents in Jamaica?
看看下面幾張圖就暸了
Look at the following photos, then you'll know.
看清楚了嗎 ?
答案就是...................
Do you have a clear picture now ?
And the answer is ...........................
沒有一個人戴 安全帽!
NONE OF THEM WEAR SAFETY HAMLET!
我就知道你一定又看到什麼地方去了 .........^^
I know you must seen something else .........^^
Do you know why there are so many motorcycle accidents in Jamaica?
看看下面幾張圖就暸了
Look at the following photos, then you'll know.
看清楚了嗎 ?
答案就是...................
Do you have a clear picture now ?
And the answer is ...........................
沒有一個人戴 安全帽!
NONE OF THEM WEAR SAFETY HAMLET!
我就知道你一定又看到什麼地方去了 .........^^
I know you must seen something else .........^^
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