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Saturday, December 13, 2008

No Sex Tonight

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:-
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

10 comments:

kruel74 said...

Maybe will try this tactic out one of this day

Yi Ling said...

wah! ._.
speechless sia. for a guy to say that to a girl o.o

justin_5 said...

like justin timberlake sang..what goes around comes around..
u gotto give to get.. but i still its soo cruel to do tat to a girl.. Hohoho..

FengY said...

LOL this is super hilarious!

bamboopandalove said...

this was hilarious, but very true indeed! the opposite sexes just don't get each other sometimes. if not most of the time...

Olivia said...

Females do not always think with their hearts, nor do male always think with their heads (!)

Jason Law said...

hahaha ! Good one !

Huai Bin said...

OMG! This is so funny, I know it's politically incorrect to laugh, but I can't help myself. Nice one. :)

lovie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lovie said...

Thank you for sharing, I think this post is really funny.

The guy is so creative :D